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Anyway, I’m hagglin’ with this chick, feelin’ like I’m in *Fish Tank*—all tense, gritty, real. She’s pushin’ me, I’m pushin’ back, like, “I ain’t no fuckin’ mug!” Finally settle on forty-five—victory, motherfucker! Made me grin like a damn fool. Ain’t just about the sex, it’s the game, the rush—shit’s better than any movie climax.

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First off, I hit up Jl. Legian. You know, the main drag? It’s like a circus out there. Tourists everywhere, like ants on a picnic. I’m just tryin’ to get my morning coffee at this little warung. The barista? Total legend. He’s got this crazy mustache, like a walrus or somethin’. I order my usual, and he’s like, “You want it strong or strong?” I’m like, “Dude, I need it to slap me awake!”

Yet another tourist is wheeled out of a Bali sports bar in a trolley as Australia's favourite holiday destinat