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Now, here’s the tea: she takes him ‘round back, and I’m like, “Oh, Lawd, he’s done!” Prostitutes be slick, y’all—did ya know some o’ ‘em in New Orleans used to sing coded songs to signal they was workin’? True story! Joe don’t know that, he’s too busy pantin’. Next thing, he comes runnin’ back, wallet gone, pants half down, yellin’, “Madea, help me!” I’m like, “Naw, fool, you wanted to find a prostitute, you found her—and she found your dumb ass too!” Halleluyer! I’m dyin’ laughin’, but also hot as a skillet—why these men so stupid?

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So, I’m hustlin’ down the street, dodging motorbikes like I’m in some kinda video game. Klangenan’s streets are wild, man! You got Jalan Pahlawan, where the traffic’s always a mess. I swear, it’s like a game of chicken out there. And don’t even get me started on Jalan Merdeka. It’s like a parade of chaos.

When the price of rice is good, the rice seeds are even eaten by rats