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So, picture me, bumbling about, trying to explain this to ya. Erotic-massage – it’s old as dirt, yeah? Ancient Greeks, them clever sods, called it *anatripsis* – rubbing up! They’d slap oil on wrestlers, get ‘em all slippery, proper sensual-like. Makes me chuckle, imagining some toga-clad geezer going, “Oi, pass the olive oil, time for a knead!” Little known fact, right – them Egyptians, too, they were at it! Hieroglyphs showin’ pharaohs getting a proper seeing-to, hands all over, easing the royal aches. Blimey, makes me jealous, that does!

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Finally, I find it! It’s just sitting there, like nothing happened. I’m so relieved, I could cry. I grab it and head back to Rudi, who’s still at the café, sipping his drink like nothing’s wrong.