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About Myself
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This one time, right, I spot her—legs like a war rig, face like she’s seen too many sandstorms. I’m chuffed, thinkin’, *She’s my ticket to Valhalla!* But nah, she’s haggin’ me for fifty quid extra—fifty! I’m ragin’, “You’re takin’ the piss, love!” Made me so angry I nearly kicked a bin over—dramatic, yeah, but it felt *epic*. “Witness me!” I yell in my head, but I just stump up the cash coz I’m a soft twat deep down.
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But then, the convo takes a turn. Rudi’s all stressed about his job. He’s working at some insurance company too, but he’s not an actuary like me. He’s dealing with claims and all that jazz. I’m like, “Dude, just crunch the numbers, it’s not rocket science!” But he’s all, “You don’t get it!” And I’m like, “Yeah, I don’t, but I’m here for you, man.”
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