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I’m wandering, half-pissed, thinking, “This is grim.” Then—bam!—this fit one, all legs, smirks at me. “Fancy a go, love?” she says. I’m like, “Christ, you’re bold!” Heart’s racing, not cos I’m horny, but cos it’s surreal. Reminds me of that *Yi Yi* line, “Why’s life so loud?” Cos it bloody is! She’s chatting me up, says she’s called Jade—probably fake, who cares? Tells me she once shagged a copper to dodge a fine. Little fact for ya—cops’ve been punters forever. Dirty sods.

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Next, I hit up the park near Jl. Merdeka. I need a breather. I plop down on a bench, and this old lady starts chatting me up. She’s telling me about her grandkids and how they’re all in Jakarta now. I’m like, “That’s cool, but what about you?” She just smiles and says, “I’m happy as long as I have my plants.” I’m like, “You do you, lady!”

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