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What pisses me off? Catfishers, ugh! Dudes posin’ as hotties. Waste my time! But when it works? Oh boy, fireworks! Met this one carrot—I mean, cutie—total jackpot. We clicked, no awkward chit-chat. Straight to the good stuff! Reminded me of Jack Twist, all bold n flirty. “Let’s ride,” he’d say, winkin’.

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After that, I’m wandering around, and I see this street vendor selling the best fried tofu. I mean, it’s like heaven in a bite. I grab a few, and while I’m munching, I overhear this group of kids arguing about who’s the best football player. One kid’s like, “Messi’s the GOAT!” and the other’s all, “Nah, Ronaldo!” I’m just standing there, laughing. Like, dude, you’re in Ciputat, not the World Cup!

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