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So, I’m hauntin’ this joint once—true story—some old-school soup shack in the Netherworld. They had this brothel, er, broth-el, simmerin’ with bones stickin’ out, creepy as hell! Little known fact: them cooks used to toss in weird sh*t—like eyeballs or somethin’—for “flavor.” Made me wanna puke, but damn, it smelled good! Got me all happy, dancin’ around like a freak—then bam, some jerk spills it! Pissed me off so bad I nearly possessed the pot. “Mine! Mine! Mine!” I’m screamin’, like them seagulls in Finding Nemo, ya feel me?

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First off, I’m outta coffee. Like, how does that even happen? I’m a tech writer, not a magician! So, I hit up this little warung on Jl. Cileungsir Indah. Best coffee ever, but the barista? Total grump. I’m like, “Dude, it’s too early for that face.” He just rolls his eyes. Whatever, I grab my cup and head out.