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About South Tangerang

I hate the candles, the flute music, the whole damn vibe. Makes me wanna punch a wall. But—here’s the kicker—some folks swear by it. Say it’s “healin’” or “intimate.” Intimate? I’d rather wrestle a bear than let some oiled-up weirdo whisper in my ear. Still, my buddy Jerry—pathetic sap—says it saved his marriage. Wife started touchin’ him again after years of nothin’. Good for him, I guess. Me? I’d rather die alone in the woods.

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But then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past me. Almost knocks my plate outta my hands! I’m like, “Hey, watch it, kid!” But he just laughs and speeds off. I’m left there, half-eaten tofu in hand, feelin’ like a grumpy old man.

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