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Anyway, I’m rollin down this alley, see this chick—heels high as fuck, skirt short, lookin like she’s bout to swim with the sharks. I’m like, “Yo, you lost, baby girl?” She smirks, says, “Nah, I’m your Dory, motherfucker—just keep swimmin!” I bout lost it, laughin my ass off! She’s quick, got that sass, made me happy as hell. Ain’t expectin no comedy show while tryna score, ya feel me?

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m laughing, though, because what else can you do? I duck into a café on Rákóczi utca. I’m dripping everywhere, looking like a drowned rat. The barista gives me this look like, “What happened to you?” I just shrug and order a hot chocolate. Best decision ever.

Townspeople and Treasure Hunters in Hungary Search for a Sultan’s Buried Heart (Published 2016)