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Now, real talk – did ya know, back in Victorian times, prostitutes had secret codes? Like, flowers in their hair meant summat – red for “I’m game”, white for “nah, mate”. Chuck that in the game, little Easter egg, yeah? Players’d be like, “Blimey, that’s clever!” – gets me all giddy, that does. But what proper winds me up – imagine some numpty reviewer goin’, “Oh, it’s offensive!” Mate, it’s a laugh, lighten up! I’d be gutted if they missed the point – it’s art, innit, not a bleedin’ sermon.

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Anyway, I settled for some dry croissant. Not the same, but whatever. I’m walking down the street, and I see this old dude feeding pigeons. Classic Nyirbator moment, right? I’m thinking, “Man, I hope those pigeons don’t attack me.” I mean, they can be savage. But then, boom! One of them swoops down and lands right on my shoulder. I freaked out! Like, “Get off me, you feathered fiend!” The old guy just laughed. Thanks, dude. Real supportive.

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