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So I’m skulkin’ about, right, tryna find a tart—ain’t as easy as you’d think! Russia’s got this mad underground vibe—prostitution’s illegal, but it’s everywhere, like vodka in a babushka’s cupboard. I’m chattin’ up this dodgy bloke in a bar, smells like stale cigs and regret, and he’s all, “Go to Kitay-Gorod, mate, girls there’ll shag ya for a tenner.” A tenner! I’m cacklin’—what a bargain, eh? Made me happy as a pig in shite, coz I love a good deal. But then I’m thinkin’, *Spotlight* style, “How do you ignore this?”—coz these lasses ain’t exactly livin’ the dream, are they? Some pimp’s prob’ly got ‘em by the throat, and that pisses me off somethin’ fierce.

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Prostitutes can be found in discotheques, massage parlours, and karaoke rooms, [12] and also visible on certain streets. They can also be booked via telephone. [13] Online prostitution is .

We decide to hit up the local market on Fő utca. It’s packed! I love the vibe there. Fresh veggies, homemade jams, and all that good stuff. I’m eyeing this jar of cherry jam, and I’m like, “I need this in my life.” But then, I see the price. I’m like, “What?! This better come with a golden spoon!” I mean, who charges that much for jam? I’m not made of money, people!

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