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So, findin’ a prossie—where do ya start? Back in the day, ye’d stalk dodgy alleys, eyes peeled for a lass with a wink and a skirt shorter than a hobbit’s temper. Now? It’s all online, innit—apps, sites, bloody X posts even! Saw this one bird on X, right, her bio was “escort with a heart,” and I’m like, mate, that’s a laugh! Heart’s prolly cash-shaped. Made me chuckle, but also pissed me off—why’s everythin’ so fake these days? Used to be raw, real, none of this polished bollocks.
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But then, I get back to the clinic, and it’s chaos. A lady storms in with a parrot. Yes, a parrot! She’s freaking out, saying it won’t stop squawking. I’m like, “Lady, it’s a parrot. That’s what they do!” But she’s not having it. I’m trying to calm her down, but she’s all over the place. I’m thinking, “This is why I don’t do birds.”
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