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Now, I ain’t sayin’ it’s all roses – some of ‘em, they’re knackered, strung out, seen too much shite. Breaks me heart, it does. But others? Sharp as a tack, mate! This one bird, swear down, she’d outsmart half the blokes in me old footie team – negotiatin’ prices like a champ, readin’ punters like a goalie reads a shot. Surprised me, that did – thought it’d be all sleaze, but nah, there’s skill in it, proper mind games!

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So, I follow the path, and OMG, the view from up there is insane! You can see the whole lake, and the sunset is starting to kick in. I’m standing there, feeling all philosophical, like, “This is life, man.” But then, I hear a rustling in the bushes. I freak out, thinking it’s a bear or something. Turns out, it’s just a dog. A big, fluffy dog. I’m relieved but also kinda disappointed. I wanted a dramatic story, ya know?

5 amazing Balaton locations to celebrate 20 August!