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But here’s the kicker—everybody lies, even the masseuse. Says it’s “spiritual,” but her smirk’s screamin’ “tip me big, limp.” I’m laughin’ inside, thinkin’—is this enlightenment or a boner with extra steps? Probs both. Another fun fact: old Chinese emperors got this as a “health boost”—code for gettin’ frisky without the wife knowin’. History’s wild, man.

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As I’m heading back down, I bump into this group of locals. They’re super friendly and invite me to join their picnic. I’m like, “Heck yeah!” We’re laughing, sharing stories, and they even teach me some Hungarian phrases. I’m butchering the language, but they’re loving it. “You’re a natural!” they say. I’m thinking, “Yeah, right!”

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