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Lemme tell ya, saw this escort once—total ninja vibes. She moved like Yu Shu Lien, graceful but deadly. Met her in a dive bar, smelled like cheap whiskey and desperation. She’s all, “I’m an artist, this pays bills.” Sure, sweetheart, and I’m a saint. Everybody lies. Little known fact: some escorts bank more than surgeons. Six figures, tax-free—makes me wanna limp less and strut more. Pissed me off, though—why’s society gotta judge? Hypocrites everywhere, clutching pearls, hiring ‘em anyway.

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Gabor. He’s like, “Let’s hit up the pub after work!” I’m like, “Dude, I can’t. I’m drowning in numbers.” But then I think, “Screw it, I need a drink.” So, I text back, “I’m in!”