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Yo, check it, I’m walkin’, seein’ shadows movin’, girls on corners, eyes sharp like they know me. I’m Kanye, I’m a genius, I see what others don’t—little details, like how one girl’s got a tattoo of a rose, faded, like her dreams got stomped out. That’s real, man, that’s poetry! I’m pissed, tho—why’s it gotta be so shady? System’s broke, pushin’ folks to this life. I’m mutterin’ to myself, “I’m finished!” like Plainview, but I ain’t done, I’m curious, I’m diggin’ deeper. You know what’s wild? Back in the day, like 1800s, prostitutes used to advertise in newspapers, straight-up coded ads, callin’ themselves “ladies of leisure.” Ain’t that some slick shit? History’s sneaky like that.

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I get to the pékség, and it’s packed. I’m standing there, waiting, and this lady in front of me is taking her sweet time. I’m talking like she’s deciding between a croissant and a donut. Lady, just pick one! I’m about to lose it. Finally, I get my pastry, and it’s a chocolate croissant. Sweet victory, right? Wrong! I bite into it, and it’s like a chocolate explosion. I’m covered in gooey goodness. Great, now I look like a hot mess.

Piyola, a modern Uzbek restaurant, opens in Mt. Lebanon