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Ruh-roh! Once tried it myself—total disaster! Slipped off the table, landed on my tail—yowch! Laughed my ass off tho. “I’m not sure what’s real anymore!”—straight outta Lynch’s flick. That’s erotic-massage, man—slippery, weird, but *damn* relaxin’. Ever notice how masseuses whisper? Creepy but hot—gives ya goosebumps!

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First off, I had to get ready for my Maiko gig. You know, the whole geisha vibe, but in Hungary. I mean, who knew I’d be doing this in a place like Pilisvörösvár? It’s a small town, but it’s got charm, ya know? The streets are all cobblestone and cute, like something outta a fairy tale. I live near Fő utca, which is the main street, and it’s always buzzing.