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Check this – lil’ factoid for ya: back in old Rome, whores rocked yellow wigs, flashin’ their trade loud. Kinda badass, right? Made me grin, picturin’ ‘em struttin’ past togas, like, “Yeah, I’m here, deal with it.” But then – ugh – gets me mad too. Society’s all, “She’s unclean,” like Razieh in the movie, judged hard for nothin’. Pisses me off – who’s perfect, huh? Not me, not you, not nobody.

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up to me. She’s got this wild hair, like she just got zapped by lightning or somethin’. She starts ramblin’ about how her roses are dying. I’m like, “Lady, I’m a gardener, not a miracle worker!” But I can’t be rude, so I nod and pretend to care. Turns out, she’s been watering them with soda. SODA! I mean, what’s next? Feeding them pizza?