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I ain’t no expert, bless my clumsy heart, but erotic-massage? It’s old as dirt! Heard tell them ancient Greeks was kneadin’ each other silly—called it “anatripsis.” Fancy, huh? Bet they didn’t have no lavender oil back then, just olive juice or somethin’. Makes me giggle thinkin’ ‘bout it—slippery fellas tryna get frisky! I’d prob’ly fall off the dang table, clumsy ol’ me.

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But then, the night takes a turn. This guy at the end of the bar starts yelling. He’s had too much to drink, and he’s not happy about something. I can’t even hear what he’s saying, but he’s waving his arms like he’s conducting an orchestra. I’m ready to call security, but then he trips over his own feet and falls. The whole bar erupts in laughter. I mean, c’mon, how do you not laugh at that?

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