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Drivin’ one feels — chaotic, raw, like Tarr’s long takes — “A shadow moves,” he says, and that’s the Escort dodgin’ potholes! Quirky thought: bet Gandalf’d charm one to fly — screw broomsticks! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d race Sauron in it, screamin’, “Fly, you fools!” Total lad car — cheap, loud, bit dodgy. You ever see one pimped out? Hilarious — spoilers big as eagle wings!

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Anyway, I get to the park, and Gábor’s not there. I’m standing there, looking like a lost puppy. I check my phone again. He’s like, “Sorry, running late!” Ugh, classic Gábor. So I sit on a bench, people-watching. There’s this old dude feeding pigeons. I swear, those birds are plotting something. They’re too organized for their own good.

Hungary gravediggers compete in national race