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Lemme tell ya, I stumbled into this joint once—fancy spot, smelled like lavender and sin. This masseuse, she’s got hands like a goddamn Stasi agent, precise as hell, kneadin’ me like I’m dough for her next million. Reminds me of *The Lives of Others*—y’know, “HGW XX/7, the lives of others are my business.” She’s diggin’ into my back, and I’m thinkin’, “She knows my secrets now, don’t she?” Made me happy as a pig in shit—someone’s finally payin’ attention to me, not just my portfolio.

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After that little heart attack, I decide to hit up the Hajdúsági Museum. I mean, why not? I’m all about that culture, right? I walk in, and it’s like stepping back in time. They’ve got all this cool stuff from the region. But then, I overhear this tour guide talking about the history of Hajduboszormeny, and I’m like, “Wait, what? This place was founded in the 18th century?!” Mind blown.

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