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Alright, here we go—escort, huh? Man, what a gig. I’m picturing it now, some slick dude in a cheap suit or a chick with heels sharper than my wit, struttin’ around like they own the night. Everybody lies, right? That’s the motto. They’re sellin’ company, sure, but it’s all a big ol’ masquerade. Kinda like in *Talk to Her*—you know, my fave flick—where Benigno’s all “I’m just carin’ for her,” but deep down it’s messed up, selfish love. Escorts? Same vibe. “I’m here for you, babe,” they say, but the wallet’s the real VIP.

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After that, I decided to check out the Danube. The view? Stunning! But then, I see this guy trying to take a selfie with a swan. Like, bro, that swan is not your friend! It’s not a Disney movie! I’m just standing there, laughing my butt off.

Meet The Gym: Flipping Out Tumbling