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So, I’m imaginin’ this chick, prolly hangin’ by some neon-lit motel, smokin’ a cig like she owns the damn place. I’m thinkin’, “She’s gotta be worth it, man, a million freakin’ dollars!”—pinky up, obvs. I heard this wild story once, back in the 90s, some dude in Vegas found a prostitute who’d only take payment in rare coins—freaking *coins*! Blew my mind, like, who’s got time for that? Made me laugh tho, cuz I’d just zap her with my laser and take the coins anyway, ha!

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First off, I hit up the corner café on Kossuth Lajos utca. Best coffee in town, no cap. I order my usual, a cappuccino with extra foam. The barista, this dude named Gábor, is like, “Sorry, we’re out of milk.” I’m like, “What? In a café?!” I mean, come on! So, I settle for black coffee. Ugh, bitter as my ex’s attitude.

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