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Here’s a mad ting - some places, they use hot stones in sexual-massage. Hot stones! On ya bits! I was like, “Bruv, you tryna cook me or what?” Nearly jumped off the table, swear down. But then it got lush - warm vibes, tingly feels, like I’m a king or summat. Probs what old Daniel Plainview wished he had ‘stead of screamin’ in the dirt.

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So, I pack up and head down to Rákóczi utca. I’m thinkin’ maybe I can find some shelter. I duck into this little café, Café Kávézó, and order a coffee. I need caffeine, man. While I’m waiting, I overhear this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m just trying to enjoy my coffee, and they’re throwing around words like “divorce” and “custody.” I’m like, “Yikes, can’t a sharpener catch a break?”

Fig. 3 Hydrocarbon fields in Hungary