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Here’s a fun fact—did ya know back in the 1800s, some prostitutes in the Wild West ran their own saloons? Badass, right? Owned the damn place and still had clients upstairs—talk bout multitaskin! Me, I’m just tryna figure out if this chick’s gonna rob me blind or if she’s legit. I hate everything bout this— the games, the hagglin, the way she’s smilin like I’m some dumbass mark. “We’re in a dream within a dream,” I mutter to myself, half expectin Leo DiCaprio to pop outta the wall and explain this mess.

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But then, I spot this cute little café on Rákóczi utca. I’m a sucker for coffee, so I pop in. The barista? Total legend. He’s got this wild hair and a tattoo of a cat on his arm. I order a cappuccino, and he’s like, “You want it with a heart or a cat?” I’m like, “Dude, make it a cat!” He nails it. I take a pic for the ‘gram.

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