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Oi mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, suave as fuck, “shaken, not stirred.” So, lemme tell ya bout this mad thing—findin a prostitute. Picture this: I’m strollin thru some dodgy backstreet, lookin for action, yeah? Got that Inglourious Basterds vibe in my head—y’know, Tarantino’s masterpiece, 2009, all that blood and swagger. “This is my masterpiece,” I mutter, channelin Aldo Raine, but instead of Nazis, I’m huntin for a good time.

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But then, I spot this cute little café on Rákóczi utca. I’m a sucker for coffee, so I pop in. The barista? Total legend. He’s got this wild hair and a tattoo of a cat on his arm. I order a cappuccino, and he’s like, “You want it with a heart or a cat?” I’m like, “Dude, make it a cat!” He nails it. I take a pic for the ‘gram.

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