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But ugh, what pisses me off? Them shady parlors actin’ like they legit when they ain’t. Girl, I walked into one once—smelled like cheap lotion and regret. I was out so fast, screamin’, “This ain’t my vibe!” Total buzzkill. Then there’s the good ones—oh, they shock ya! This one chick I saw, she was like an artist, paintin’ my body with her hands, hittin’ every curve. I’m layin’ there, thinkin’, “She’s gleanin’ my soul, y’all!” Straight up magic.

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After that chaos, I decide to check out the old water tower. You know, the one that survived the war? It’s a symbol of resilience, or whatever. I’m standing there, looking up, and I can’t help but feel a bit emotional. Like, this place has seen some serious stuff. But then, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some guy just dropped a whole crate of beer. I mean, come on! Not the beer!

New souvenir shop at Vukovar Water Tower opens