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Oi mate, so erotic-massage, yeah? What a bloody laugh! Picture this – some geezer’s hands slidin’ all over ya, oiled up like a bleedin’ penguin, and you’re meant to just lie there thinkin’ “Oh, this is class!” I mean, who comes up with this crap? Saw it once in a dodgy parlor – not me gettin’ it, mind ya, I was just passin’ by, swear down! – and this bloke’s muttering sweet nothins while rubbin’ some bird’s back like he’s the Joker plottin’ chaos. “Why so serious?” I’m cackling in me head, cos it’s all so daft!

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Turns out, it’s just a stray cat. Phew! But then, I see a group of kids playing soccer nearby. They’re having a blast, and I can’t help but smile. I join in, and we’re kicking the ball around. I’m not gonna lie, I’m terrible, but it’s fun.

Students from Nova Gradiška win Hanfa contest in the field of financial literacy