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Last week, some prat tried sellin’ me this “tantric” rubbish. Said it’d awaken my soul. Soul? Mate, I’m Cersei—I’d rather awaken a dragon and torch his arse. Laughed in his face, spilled my wine on purpose. “Gangsters don’t cry,” he says, quotin’ the film like a pillock. I says, “No, but queens do what they want.” Stomped off, heels clickin’. Felt good.

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But then, BAM! The compressor finally roars to life. I’m pumped! I start blasting away, and the dust is flying everywhere. It’s like a scene from a movie. I’m in my zone, feeling like a rockstar. But then, I look over, and the kid’s covered in dust. I’m talking head to toe! He looks like a ghost. I can’t help but laugh. “You good, buddy?” He just nods, grinning like a maniac.

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