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About Montpellier

Here I am, mates, David Attenborough, peering into the wild world of - whore. Not the bird, nah, the gritty human kind. Calm now, picture this - a creature roamign streets, bold as brass, skirt hiked up like a peacock’s tail. Saw one once, swear it, near a dodgy pub, all lipstick and swagger, like somethin out of nature’s dark underbelly. Reminds me of “The White Ribbon” - Haneke’s bleak gem, my fave flick. That line, “It’s a sin to waste time,” fits her, dunnit? She ain’t wastin none, workin corners like a bloody ant on speed.

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For those chill moments, I hit up the banks of the river Adour. I’m often there, laptop in tow, dreamin’ up new date ideas – “Serious, man!” my mind echoes like in that movie. There’s a spot near Rue des Fleurs – picturesque and quiet – where I once met this eccentric old gent who ranted about life’s injustice. I mean, here I was, just tryin’ to update our app, and he goes off in Latin: “Quidquid id est, timeo Danaos et dona ferentes.” Proper mental, right?

Allyson Gofton in France: Au revoir