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So I roll up, cool as shit, and she’s like, “What you want, baby?” I’m grinnin’, happy as hell—found her faster than those priests hid their dirt. “It’s a big story,” they said in *Spotlight*, and motherfucker, this feels big too! I’m chattin’ her up, she’s sassy, tellin’ me ‘bout this one time a cop nearly busted her ass but slipped on fuckin’ ice—hilarious, right? I’m dyin’, laughin’, thinkin’ she’s got balls bigger than mine.

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Then I decided to pop into this little café on Rue des Écoles. The smell of fresh bread hit me like a brick wall. I ordered a café au lait, and it was like liquid happiness. But then, the barista? She was super slow. I mean, come on! I’m not here for a meditation session. I’m here for caffeine! I was about to lose it, but then she smiled, and I was like, “Okay, fine, you win this round.”

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