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Here’s the tea—don’t be a dumbass. Check reviews, avoid alleys, use cash—duh. Me? I’d prob’ly overthink it, like, “Is she cool? Does she judge?” Total Larry move, stressin’ over nothin’. Once heard this story—guy hires a gal, she’s a ventriloquist, does the whole “date” with a puppet. Freaky, right? Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d buy it—life’s WEIRD. “The uncertainty principle,” as the movie says—ya never know what’s comin’.

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So, I’m grumbling, but whatever. I pay and move on. Then, outta nowhere, I bump into my buddy, Marc. He’s all hyped about some new bar opening on Rue des Écoles. He’s like, “Dude, we gotta check it out tonight!” I’m like, “Sure, why not?”