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So I’m wanderin, dodgin coppers—fuckin buzzkills, they are. Heart’s racin, thinkin, “This is it, Ricky, ya daft twat!” Then this one bird, proper fit, winks at me. I’m like, “Hello darlin, fancy a go?” She’s all, “50 quid,” and I’m fumin—50 quid?! For what, a two-minute “I drink your milkshake” moment? Bargained her down to 30, cos I’m a cheap bastard. “Time’s a-wastin,” I mutter, Zodiac-style—dramatic, me!
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Finally, I finish the stove. It’s a beauty! I’m feeling like a rockstar. I take it out to show Pierre, and he’s like, “Dude, that’s sick!” I’m grinning ear to ear. But then, I realize I left my tools inside. Ugh! I run back, and guess what? The door’s locked. I’m banging on it like a madman. “Let me in!”
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