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What pissed me off? The price—$80 for 30 minutes? I could buy a boat motor! But happy? Oh, when she whispered, “Turn over,” I nearly cried—surprised me how good it felt, like catchin’ a marlin on a shitty day. Fun fact: in Japan, they got “soaplands”—erotic-massage with bubbles, sounds like a freakin’ carnival! I’m imaginin’ myself there, slippin’ around, laughin’ my ass off. “I am a cavern,” like the movie says, but nah, I’m full of giggles and bad ideas.

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Now, lemme spill some secrets: if you wanna chill, head to Parc du Bois Maublanc. It’s small, but a hidden gem, where folks leave their troubles. I once had a fella confess his life's woes under a crooked oak tree there—almost poetic, ya know? Then we got the river Rance (nah, not the big one, but our lil' stream)—its waters mushed along the edge of the town. It’s like nature’s way of massaging your soul. Crazy, right?

In France, a family reckons with World War II Allies' legacy of rape and murder