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So I’m pissed, right? Last time I tried this, some chick robbed me blind – took my wallet while I was hummin “Hang me, oh hang me.” Shoulda seen it comin, but nah, I’m too busy bein all cultured and shit. This time, tho, I spot her – red heels, smoky eyes, leanin by a busted lamppost. She’s got that “fare thee well” look, like she’s half outta here already. I’m thinkin, *damn, she’s prolly seen more flops than Llewyn at a gig.*

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I get to the office, and it’s chaos. My boss is yelling about some report. I’m like, “Dude, chill. It’s just a report.” But he’s all stressed, pacing like he’s on a mission. I can’t even focus. My mind’s still on that croissant I didn’t eat.

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