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About Strasbourg

Last time I went, chick was pro. Hands like magic, dude, swear! But—argh—once this guy stunk, ruined it. Made me wanna puke, so mad! “Don’t be so uptight,” I thought—movie line! Tension melts, tho, when it’s good. Ever tried it? Surprised me how chill I got. Like, “This is my life now?”—another Toni gem! Exaggerating? Maybe, but feels like floating, man! Some say it’s weird, but pfft, haters. Bart Simpson don’t judge—eat my shorts!

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Then I hit up this café on Rue des Forges. Best croissants ever! I mean, buttery, flaky goodness. But the barista? Ugh. She was all smiles until I asked for a cappuccino. She looked at me like I just asked her to solve a Rubik’s cube blindfolded. “We don’t do that here,” she says. I’m like, “What do you mean? It’s France!” But whatever, I settled for a black coffee. Not the same, but hey, caffeine is caffeine, right?

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