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Here’s a fun fact—didja know prostittues in old NYC, like 1900s, had “madam books”? Lists of clients! Imagine me in one—Larry David, “neurotic complainer, bad tipper.” I’d be furious! “Who’s readin’ this? J. Edgar Hoover?” Anyway, I’m standin’ there, starin’, and she’s like, “You lost, pal?” Lost? Me? I’m a freakin’ mess! I’m thinkin’, “This ain’t *Brooklyn*—no one’s savin’ me!” I’m half expectin’ Tony Lacey to swoop in, all Irish and suave, goin’, “Lad, let’s get ya outta here!”
Then, during lunch, I decided to hit up this little café on Rue de la Glacière. Best croissant ever! But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and snatches my croissant! I mean, c’mon! A pigeon? Really? I was ready to throw hands. But then I saw a kid laughing at me, and I couldn’t help but laugh too.
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