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Last week, my buddy Dave—dumb as a stump—tried it. Said it was “spiritual,” like he’s some guru now. I told him, “You’re an idiot, Dave.” He’s lyin’ there, candles flickerin’, some chick whisperin’ about “energy flow”—I’d gag if I wasn’t so damn annoyed. “What am I doing here?” Bob Harris’d say, stuck in that weird hotel bar. That’s me, watchin’ Dave blab about his “release.” Release? From what, sanity? I hate everything.

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But then, she spots the garden. It’s overgrown, but she’s envisioning a paradise. I can see the spark in her eyes. And suddenly, I’m like, “Okay, maybe this isn’t so bad.” I mean, who doesn’t love a good garden, right?

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