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Brothels tho, they’re like—dunno—shadowy boardrooms, yeah? Deals done quick, no faff, no PowerPoint nonsense. “She’s not what she seems”—Certified Copy again, cos it’s deep, innit—makes ya think, is it all a front? Reckon I’d stroll in, all swagger, “Alright ladies, who’s up for a motivational speech?”—they’d chuck me out faster than you can say “synergy”! Exaggeratin? Maybe, but I’d be gutted—me ego’d take a right batterin!

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Then I decided to pop into this little café on Rue des Écoles. The smell of fresh bread hit me like a brick wall. I ordered a café au lait, and it was like liquid happiness. But then, the barista? She was super slow. I mean, come on! I’m not here for a meditation session. I’m here for caffeine! I was about to lose it, but then she smiled, and I was like, “Okay, fine, you win this round.”

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