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Oi, precious, listen up! Me, Gollum, hates it—sexual-massage, nasty stuff! Rubbin’ and touchin’, all slippery-like, ugh! Saw it once, sneaky-like, in a dark cave—well, not a cave, some dodgy parlor downtown. Them hands slidin’ over skin, oozy oils everywhere, we hates it! Reminds me of “Moolaadé,” that film, yeah? “Purity is power,” they says in it—ain’t no purity in this greasy mess! Makes me skin crawl, like worms wrigglin’ under me feet.

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After the power comes back, I’m finally done with work. I meet up with Marc at that new bar. It’s packed! The vibe is lit, and I’m feeling good. We grab some drinks, and I’m just enjoying the moment. Then, I see this girl across the bar. She’s got this killer smile. I’m like, “Okay, Tignieu, you’re full of surprises today!”