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What pisses me off tho? These fake-ass girls online, promisin’ the moon, then ghostin’ you. Waste my damn time! Surprised me once when this one broad turned out to be a dude – fuckin’ loco, right? I was like, “He was a friend to me,” quotin’ the flick again, but nah, I ain’t into that twist. Laughed it off, tho – Tony don’t cry over spilt milk, man!

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I hand her the fur, and she’s all smiles. “Oh my god, it’s beautiful!” she says. I’m thinking, “See? It’s not the end of the world!” But then she pulls out her wallet, and I’m like, “Wait, you’re not paying me in Monopoly money, are you?”

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