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Still, I’m vibin’, picturin’ it: me and her, sunset glow, talkin’ soul stuff. “Baby, I’m an optimist!”—that’s me quotin’ Jesse again, ‘cause I’m extra. Maybe she’d laugh, maybe she’d rob me—probs both, lol. But ugh, I’m tired now, feet hurtin’, and I’m over it. Findin’ a prostitute? Harder than findin’ good Botox. Like, literally, I’m done—gonna watch “Before Sunset” again and cry. Peace out, boo!

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First off, I hit up Rue de la République for my morning coffee. You know, the usual spot. The barista, Marie, she’s cool, but today? She spills my café au lait all over the counter. I’m like, “C’mon, Marie! I need that caffeine!” But she just laughs it off. I mean, I get it, but still! I’m half awake and now half covered in coffee. Great start, right?

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