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Hey, so I’m like, totally a forester now, right? Tina Fey here, snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!” vibes. Anyway, let’s talk prostittutes—yeah, I’m typin fast, deal wih it. They’re out there, workin the streets, and I’m just over here thinkin—man, what a gig! Like, imagine the chutzpah, y’know? Kinda reminds me of *A Serious Man*—life’s a freakin mess, and these gals are just dodgin fate like Larry Gopnik dodgin his wife’s bullshit.

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By the time Mayor Lukban closed Gardenia, it filled up a block in the Tuason-Legarda estate, with 57 houses of prostituti­on and about women, mostly Japanese expatriate prostitute­s known .

After that, we take a break at this little café on Avenue de la Gare. I grab a croissant, and it’s like heaven. But then, I spill my coffee all over my shirt. Great. Just great. I’m sitting there, looking like a mess, and the barista’s trying not to laugh. I’m like, “Yeah, I meant to do that. Fashion statement, you know?”

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