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About Marseille

So, I tried it. Tinder, Bumble, whatever. Profiles got pics of abs, dogs, and thirst traps. I’m scrollin’, thinkin’, “This ain’t love, fam.” It’s a meat market, straight up. Little known fact—dudes lie about height, like, 87% of the time. Saw a study somewhere, blew my mind. I’m 5’10”, swear I’m 6’2” online—nobody checks! Hilarious. Girls do it too—filters so thick they catfishin’ themselves. Met one chick, thought she was 25. Nope, 40. Surprise, motherfucker!

Alexia (30)

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Then, I head down to Rue des Écoles. There’s this café, Le Petit Café, where I usually grab my morning fix. But today? The barista, Marie, was in a mood. She spills coffee everywhere, and I’m just standin’ there, tryin’ not to laugh. She looks at me, all flustered, and I’m like, “Hey, it’s just coffee, not a crime scene!” She cracks a smile, and I’m like, “See? We’re good!”

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