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Me fave bit? When you match and it’s electric—like, “The miracle’s happened!” Straight outta “Children of Men,” that hope in the dark. But then, bam, some twat unmatched cos I said I like pineapple on pizza. Gutted me, that did! Or this one time, lass sent me a nude—blurry as fuck, like she’s hidin’ a crime scene. Laughed me arse off, then cried a bit. Sex-dating’s a rollercoaster, mate—up, down, pukin’ in the bushes.

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Then, outta nowhere, I get a call from a client. She’s freaking out about a custom coat I made. Apparently, it’s too tight. I’m like, “Lady, you said you wanted it fitted!” But she’s not havin’ it. I can feel my blood pressure risin’. I mean, I put my heart into that coat!

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