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So, I’m scrollin X, tryna find some shady posts, and I see these girls, all mysterious, droppin hints. One’s got a pic – red heels, fishnets, total slay – and I’m like, “She’s giving main character energy!” I dig deeper, find a link to some sketchy site, and boom, there’s a whole menu of vibes. Did ya know, back in the day, like in old Europe, prostitutes would signal with colored ribbons? Random fact, but I’m obsessed! Makes me feel like a detective in a Béla Tarr film, all artsy and lost.

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The walk to the mill is nice. The trees on Rue des Écoles are all green and stuff. I’m feelin’ good. But then, I see this dog. A big ol’ mutt, just chillin’ in the middle of the street. I’m like, “Dude, move!” But he just stares at me. I swear, he’s judging me. I’m like, “Fine, you win.” I walk around him, and he finally gets up and trots away.

Putney bus driver: 'He just carried on jogging'