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There’s this story, yeah? Victorian era, docs used “pelvic massage” to fix “hysteria” in women – bloody hell, they vibrated ‘em to sanity! Hilarious, innit? Me, I’d be sippin’ me wine, watchin’, thinkin’, “That’s a harvest I’d join!” Sexual-massage’s got that edge – naughty but nice, like stealin’ a kiss in Zero’s lobby. “Very good, sir,” they’d say, all posh, while I’m grinnin’ like a fool.

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Then, I bump into my friend Clara. She’s a photographer, always snapping pics of the locals. She’s like, “Hey, wanna join me for lunch?” I’m like, “Sure, but I’m still mad at a bird.” We laugh, and it’s like the anger just melts away. We hit up this cute little bistro on Rue des Pêcheurs. The food? Amazing. I forget all about the croissant thief.

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