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So, ya, brothel – wild world, eh? Sex, cash, power – pure chaos! Like movie say, “Dis is my fuckin’ life!” Me tinks it’s messy, fun, sad, all at once. What ya tink, minion? Wanna visit one wid me? Joke, joke! Me stick to popcorn an’ Leo flicks! Lightbulb! Dat’s da Gru way!

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We finally sit down, and she’s all about this house on Rue des Écoles. I’m trying to sell it, but she’s got a million questions. “What’s the neighborhood like?” “Are there good schools?” I’m like, “Lady, it’s a lovely area! You’ll love it!” But inside, I’m screaming, “Just buy the house already!”

Ex-SAS officer held after raid on Brits French chateau