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About Montpellier

Lemme tell ya, I love *Toni Erdmann*—that flick’s my jam. That scene where he’s like, “Life is not a zero-sum game”? Hits me right in the gut when I think bout sex-dating. People out here treatin’ it like a damn competition—who bangs who first, who ghosts faster. Chill, fam! It ain’t that deep. But then you got the apps—swipe, swipe, swipe—like a freakin’ slot machine. Makes me mad as hell sometimes! All these posers with their “lookin’ for fun” bios. Fun? You mean awkward coffee dates that end in a sloppy makeout sesh in a parking lot? Spare me!

Agenda des Alpilles

The ruins of the ancient city of Glanum in the South of France Provence region are a popular destination on the tourist route that leads from Avignon to Arles.

First off, I hit up the local café on Rue de la République. Best croissants in town, no cap. I grab my usual, a café au lait and a buttery croissant. I’m sittin’ there, enjoying the vibe, when I overhear some tourists talking about Van Gogh. Like, dude, this is Saint-Rémy! He painted here! I’m like, “You guys know he went nuts here, right?” They just stare at me like I’m the crazy one. Whatever, I’m just trying to educate.

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