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Oi, you donkey! Sexual-massage, right? Bloody hell, it’s a slippery topic! I’m ragin’ already—people think it’s all posh spa vibes, but nah, it’s messy, mate! Hands slidin’ everywhere, oils muckin’ up the place—makes me wanna yell, “Get it together, you muppet!” Been around since forever, yeah? Ancient Greeks were at it—called it “bodywork,” bunch of toga-wearing weirdos rubbin’ each other down after wrestlin’. Fact is, it’s not just sexy time—proper ones fix your knackered muscles! Had one meself once, felt like Nemo’s dad screamin’, “I gotta find my son!”—except I was huntin’ for me bloody dignity under them towels!

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Marc can’t stop laughing. I’m just sitting there, facepalming. But then, we start talking about the old days, you know? Back when we used to hang out at the old cinema on Rue de la République. Man, those were the days! We’d sneak in snacks and watch terrible movies. Good times.

Figure 2: Podarcis liolepis liolepis adult male, Labège (picture P....